Souvenirs

One thing I hate: the dumping of dead souvenirs across tacky cash register counters. Big smiles! Wait til the cousins see this stuff! Not even coral is sacred. What should tourists take back to Michigan (or wherever)?

Not a mother’s baby’s head. Nor an infant floating in formaldehyde. Not 25 rare shells from Sanibel. This will just make someone take more rare shells from Sanibel to refill the bin. Not even a puffer fish with craft eyes glued onto its face. Throw the sand dollars and starfish back. Toss them as far as you can. Use your good arm.

Now get a cart and pile it high with orange blossom honey, marmalade, taffy, tangelos, tangerines, and red grapefruit. Sample the coconut mint patties and pecan log rolls. Yum. How about a prehistoric shark tooth puka bead necklace? Cheapo t-shirt? Coconut hair monkey? Coconut postcard? Retro postcard? Plastic flamingo or pelican statue? Kumquat or fig jam? A hundred photographs of gorgeous memories?

Anything but a bag filled with dried out seahorses. Please, not the seahorses.

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Copyright © 2017 Kerri Dieffenwierth